Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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