Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Randomize
