Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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