If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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