I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
my poor anus
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
