So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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