i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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