I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
