all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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