I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So vagazzling was a success
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
