Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
