Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
