Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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