just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
