If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
