Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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