Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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