theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
