Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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