the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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