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Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
