i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
