sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
