theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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