We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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