i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
