I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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