So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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