david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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