I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
