I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
