My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
