i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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