so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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