rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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