When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
