24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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