new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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