Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
