i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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