i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
