He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
