Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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