i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
