I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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