Non-Jews are for practice
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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