I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
