I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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