nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
