is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
