Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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