dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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