i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize