he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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