Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize