i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Im part way to drunk.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
