she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
