We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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