Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
