just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
that may or may not have been my penis.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize