I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
