I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The Olympian is in my bed
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
